This is how you can tell if someone doesn't care about you (2023)

Recognizing the early signs of a one-sided relationship can help you avoid heartbreak and form stronger connections.

Having someone who values ​​your feelings and takes care of them is undoubtedly very good. But the benefits can go further.

For example, when we feel valued at work, we tend to perform better. When our feelings are valued in romantic and friendly relationships, the bond can deepen and our self-esteem can be increased.

But relationships are complex, and sometimes we can give but not get much in return.

Things can get complicated if the other person doesn't care about your feelings. Sometimes you may not realize this until you get hurt.

So, before you get to that point, it might help to recognize some signs that someone doesn't care about you or the relationship. It may also be helpful to examine whether you tend to have these types of relationships often.

Certain signs that someone may not value you or your relationship are easy to spot.

A common question is not asking yourself about your feelings, your life, or what is important to you. This can look different depending on the relationship.

They might not sign up to hear your ideas about specific projects at work, for example. They might set up a meeting and ignore you, even if you're part of the team. Or they spend all their time talking about themselves and never get through to you.

Jenny Walters, a licensed therapist in Los Angeles, says that when someone doesn't appreciate or respect your feelings, you can feel like you need to walk carefully around that person, and you often don't feel seen or heard.

"That feeling could be literal, in the sense that you're frequently interrupted, or it could just be a feeling you get when you're around her," she says.

(Video) 5 SIGNS HE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOU 🤦‍♀️|((MUST WATCH))| ft Ali Julia hair

Relationship Coach in Fairmont, West VirginiaCheri Timkosays that other signs someone isn't caring about you can include:

  • They do not value reciprocity in the relationship
  • show no interest or curiosity in you or your life
  • has a different agenda for the relationship than you do
  • I never looked for you or your opinion
  • ignore the impact of their actions on you
  • don't respond to their request to change your behavior

In some cases, these actions don't mean much if they happen every now and then. It could be that the other person is having a rough day or needs support.

but if they areemotionally unavailableMost of the time, it becomes an important sign to look out for.

Melissa Zawisza, a licensed clinical social worker in Arlington, Texas, shares some examples of conversations that might sound familiar when dealing with someone who doesn't care:

  • Her: "I just found out my ex got married and I'm saddened and shocked." Friend: "Why do you even care?"
  • Her: "It was a day. Nothing seemed to be going well with my daughter or at work." Friend: "At least you have a job or a daughter."
  • You: "I have a lot to do and I'm not sure how I'm going to do it all." Partner: "You think you have too much to do, let me tell you what to do."
  • Her: "I'm really worried about what's going on at work." Partner: "Give it a break. It's not a big deal. You just have to deal with it."

"The person may minimize, dismiss, invalidate or ignore their feelings," says Zawisza.

But what if you don't care or don't recognize how you're feeling? When someone tries to understand you, Walters says, they usually stay in touch with you even if they an argument.

But some people living with trauma or other mental illnesses may have limited ability to connect with others.

They may care about you, but they don't have the tools to form meaningful bonds. It is not a personal choice, but the result of the condition with which they live.

Relationship problems? Our consultant wants to hear from you!

Send your questions anonymouslyon herefor Sex, Love, and All of the Above by Psych Central sex and relationship author Morgan Mandriota. Then sign up for our weekly newsletter to find out if your question comes up.

For some people, not appreciating and not caring about other people is a sign of low empathy. In short, empathy is when we put ourselves in the other's shoes.

So if someone doesn't appreciate your feelings or isn't active in the relationship with you, that's whylack of empathy? It could be.

From a psychological point of view, Zawisza explains that a lack of empathy can be a symptom of several mental illnesses, such as a narcissistic personality.

But this is not always the case.Survey 2019suggests that some people may not practice empathy because of its emotional cost.

According to Walters, these could be some signs that the other person has little empathy:

  • cut yourself emotionally
  • withdrawing and refusing to talk about your feelings even after they have calmed down
  • shut up while talking, or isolate yourself so you don't talk
  • belittle, devalue or denigrate

Again, these are worrying signs if they are persistent and consistent in the relationship.

(Video) Why They Don't Care About You

The short answer is: maybe. It might be personal, but it's not.Uds.

The key here, says Zawisza, is to observe how the person responds and interacts with others. Is there a pattern? Did anyone else share similar feelings about how this person behaves?

"Perhaps the person has a traumatic history and has difficulty trusting anyone," says Zawisza. "Perhaps they are dealing with some stressors that you are not aware of. The person could be watched and arrested."

(Video) 7 Reasons Why Men START TO CARE When You Stop Caring...

In this case, it's not personal. But if you're the only person treated like this, it might get personal. It doesn't mean you did something wrong. It could be that he just doesn't feel close to you or isn't compatible with your personality.

Regardless of the cause, it can be helpful to recognize that people don't change unless they want to, and to take steps to prevent this.

This person's behavior may not be up to you, and it's important to protect yourself as well.

What you choose depends on many factors.

One thing to keep in mind is emotional security. Do you think the other person will care and change if you express your feelings? Or will showing vulnerability lead to more harm for you?

In that case, you might want to consider all the times they were or weren't available to you.

In general, expressing your feelings is important because suppressing your emotions can cause more stress. But that doesn't mean you have to do that with that person. Perhaps another friend or therapist can help.

Express your true feelings, either by talking directly to the person,diary, or talk to a therapist, iskey to your overall healthand well-being

If you decide not to express your feelings and stay put, it can be helpful to examine your motives.

"There may be some healing work that needs to be done if it feels familiar being around people who don't care," says Walters.

"Talk about it with people you trust, or with a therapist if one is available to you. From there, you can be clear about what you need in a relationship, and that need will be validated by those who care about you ."

(Video) Mario - Care For You (Official Video)

Once you have that clarity, he says, it's clear what to do next.

When you're ready to speak directly to that person, here's Zawisza's checklist:

  • Check-ininto your own feelings and test your limits.
  • reflectabout your interactions with this person and the role they play in your life and make a list of what this person adds to your life.
  • make a decisionabout how you want to proceed. Some options include:
    • Set up a time to discuss your observations with the person. Think about it beforehand and write down what you want to say.
    • Share your concerns and then listen to the other person. Be prepared for a variety of reactions.
    • Remember that your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors are your own, and remember that the same is true for the other person.
    • After sharing both, you make a decision on how to proceed.

"The situation can be resolved and you can move on with your relationship, or it can turn into an argument where you both need to settle down and talk again in the future," says Zawisza.

“In some cases, further discussions may be warranted: an email or letter might be easier, or a face-to-face discussion about it. Ultimately, you or the person may decide to end the relationship. When the relationship ends, introduce yourselfTime to mourn your end.“

She adds that if you've tried to bring this up with the person in the past and their behavior hasn't changed, it might be important to think about the role that person will play in your life going forward.

Sometimes you may not have a choice about the person's role in your life, for example, co-workers. In these cases, it's important to take care of your emotional needs, knowing that you can't necessarily keep that person away from your daily life.

amanda lets, a licensed professional counselor in Fort Mill, South Carolina, says that while we don't always get what we need from others, we can always give ourselves that gift.

"Breathing by creating a safe and grounded environment can be an important step towards feeling acknowledged and understood," she says.

Check your five sensesand find something to calm everyone down: light a candle that smells amazing, surround yourself with soft and comforting things, or listen to powerful music to start.

It can be painful when someone in your life doesn't appreciate or care about your feelings. We all want to feel heard, seen and valued.

There are a few signs that can help you determine if the person in your life really doesn't care or has no emotional capacity.

(Video) Why You Care So Much (and How to Stop)

But there are steps you can take today, such as: For example, planning an open conversation with this person, writing in a journal, or talking to a therapist.

This can help you take care of your own needs and find a solution or a better position with this person in the future.


How do you know if someone actually cares about you? ›

8 Definitive Signs That Someone Genuinely Cares About You
  • They are in tune with your mood and behavioral fluctuations. ...
  • They take care of you, even in the smallest ways. ...
  • They give you space when you need it. ...
  • They show their love for you without ever having to say it. ...
  • They forgive you.

How do you know a guy doesn't care about you? ›

He might temporarily mind his manners when reprimanded, but it does not take him long to be rude and uncaring while talking to you. Men are always at their best behavior when talking to the woman they like. They even refrain from using cuss words around them. If he disrespects you, it means he doesn't care about you.

How can you tell if someone is emotionally detached? ›

Some signs of emotional detachment might look like:
  1. Difficulty showing empathy to others.
  2. Difficulty sharing emotions or opening up to others.
  3. Difficulty committing to a relationship or person.
  4. Feeling disconnected from others.
  5. Losing touch with people or problems maintaining connections.
  6. Feeling “numb”

How do you accept that people don't care about you? ›

Here are a few tips.
  1. Stop Playing the Critic. Before you'll be able to care less about others criticizing you, you must do your best to stop criticizing people. ...
  2. Take Minor Social Risks. ...
  3. Live by Your Deeper Values. ...
  4. Focus on Actual Outcomes. ...
  5. Love Your Good and Bad.

How do you know when a friendship is over? ›

Your friend is disrespectful or mean.

Healthy friendships offer support and affirmation. If your friend doesn't respect your feelings, it's an unhealthy relationship. Feeling anxious or negative in your friendship is a sign that it may be best to end it.

How does someone show they are caring? ›

Take care of some of their responsibilities (for example, watch their kids, do their laundry, cook them dinner, or go shopping for them). Call often to remind them how much you love them and how you are always thinking of them. When you visit, bring a book to read aloud or a movie to watch together.

How do you test if he still cares? ›

25 Signs That Show He Cares About You
  1. He listens to you patiently. Save. ...
  2. He prioritizes your happiness. ...
  3. He gives you an explanation. ...
  4. He surprises you on special days. ...
  5. He is a little possessive. ...
  6. He prefers to spend time with you. ...
  7. He is genuinely happy for you. ...
  8. He's your go-to person when you're upset.
Jan 25, 2023

How do you act like you don't care? ›

How to Act Like You Do Not Care About His Attention
  1. Respond to texts with one-word answers.
  2. Make him come to you.
  3. Keep your conversations short.
  4. Don't get intimate with him.
  5. Try not to ask for his opinion.
  6. Show him how many other guys want you.
  7. Go home early.
  8. Focus on your own life.

How do you know if a guy is pretending to love you? ›

He avoids “difficult” questions

Men who only pretend to love you will avoid difficult questions that put them on the hot seat. He won't walk about commitment, meeting family and friends, moving forward in your relationship, and being emotionally intimate with you.

How do you know if you have shut down emotionally? ›

Symptoms of emotional detachment

a lack of attention, or appearing preoccupied when around others. difficulty being loving or affectionate with a family member. avoiding people, activities, or places because they're associated with past trauma. reduced ability to express emotion.

What causes a person to shut down emotionally? ›

For some people, shutting down emotionally is a response to feeling overstimulated. It doesn't have anything to do with you or how they feel about you. If your husband or partner shuts down when you cry, for example, it may be because they don't know the best way to handle that display of emotions.

How do you turn off feelings for someone? ›

These tips can help you start the process of moving forward.
  1. Acknowledge the truth of the situation. ...
  2. Identify relationship needs — and deal breakers. ...
  3. Accept what the love meant to you. ...
  4. Look to the future. ...
  5. Prioritize other relationships. ...
  6. Spend time on yourself. ...
  7. Give yourself space. ...
  8. Understand it may take some time.
Jan 14, 2020

Why do people stop caring? ›

Feeling as if you don't care about anything anymore may be related to anhedonia or apathy. Anhedonia is a mental state in which people have an inability to feel pleasure. It is often a symptom of mental health conditions such as depression, bipolar disorder, and substance use.

How do you accept being disliked? ›

How to Cope When You Feel Like Everyone Hates You
  1. Check in.
  2. Challenge your thoughts.
  3. Distract yourself.
  4. Address conflict.
  5. Practice self-love.
  6. Get support.

When you realize someone doesn t care? ›

According to Walters, these could be some signs that the other person has low empathy: cutting you off emotionally. walking away and refusing to discuss your feelings, even after they've calmed down. shutting you down while you're speaking or cutting you off from speaking.

How does one end a friendship? ›

Some options include telling the person directly that you are ending the friendship. Or, you might allow the friendship to fade away by communicating less over time. If someone is violating your boundaries or if you feel unsafe, you might choose to discontinue all communication with them immediately.

When should you end a relationship? ›

There's No Emotional Connection

One of the key signs your relationship is ending is that you are no longer vulnerable and open with your partner. A cornerstone of happy, healthy ​relationships is that both partners feel comfortable being truly open to sharing thoughts and opinions with one another.

What are 3 characteristics of caring? ›

Here are some of the best traits that every caregiver should have:
  • Patience. Those who provide home care to others need to be patient. ...
  • Compassion. When someone has compassion for another they have an understanding of what the person is going through.
  • Attentiveness. ...
  • Dependability. ...
  • Trustworthiness.
Aug 9, 2016

What do people do when they are in love? ›

Here's what these feelings might look like in action.
  • You feel charged and euphoric around them. ...
  • You can't wait to see them again — even when they've just left. ...
  • Everything feels exciting and new. ...
  • You always make time for them. ...
  • You don't mind making sacrifices for them. ...
  • You have fantastic sex. ...
  • You idealize them.
Dec 16, 2019

How do you get someone to care about you? ›

Here's a few to cultivate.
  1. Ask questions. I've noticed people who ask questions are often well-liked. ...
  2. Talk more, not less. ...
  3. Give your time…gratis. ...
  4. Listen better. ...
  5. Really and truly care. ...
  6. Admit it, you don't know everything. ...
  7. Go for the laugh, every time. ...
  8. Lighten up.
May 29, 2014

How can you tell he's not over? ›

9 Very Obvious Signs Your Ex Still Isn't Over You
  • They Drunk Text You Emojis. ...
  • They Aren't Dating Anyone. ...
  • They Send You Flowers. ...
  • They Want To Keep In Touch Regularly. ...
  • They Unfollow You On Social Media. ...
  • They Say Something Mean About Your New Person. ...
  • They Slide Into Your DMs With Inside Jokes.
Sep 19, 2017

How do you know if he is not serious? ›

If you recognize these signs, having a conversation with your partner might help you find clarity.
  • They told you they weren't interested in something serious.
  • You're clearly not their priority.
  • They've deliberately never introduced you to their friends or family.
  • They refuse to talk about the future.
Sep 18, 2018

How do you know if a guy is losing feelings? ›

If he has stopped bothering about his looks/personality, doesn't care about his behavior, or has stopped making an effort to be romantic, he probably is losing interest. You may feel that he has stopped trying to impress you, making romantic gestures, and being curious about the things in your life.

What happens when you emotionally detach from someone? ›

What it means to detach from someone. To detach from someone means becoming less attached to their behavior and feelings, reevaluating your perception of your connection to them, and adjusting the level of emotional investment you have with them to a place where it feels manageable.

Can emotionally detached people love? ›

An emotionally unavailable man can fall in love, but it would take longer than someone who has their emotions in check. The reason is not far-fetched because he wants to be sure that he's not committing his emotions into the hands of someone that would break his trust.

How do you deal with someone who is emotionally detached? ›

Focus on your own feelings

Both Neblett and Gatling agree that if you address someone's emotional unavailability, express how it's affecting you and lead with "I" statements. It's also important to have clear examples of why you think they're emotionally unavailable so that they don't feel ambushed, Neblett emphasizes.

When a man is closed off emotionally? ›

Emotionally unavailable men don't spend much time reflecting on their own behaviors and personal growth. They aren't motivated to become more self-aware and empathic. These men have trouble stepping back to look at themselves and how they are impacting others, particularly you.

When a man goes silent? ›

Many guys hate failing and feeling inadequate. They often don't have the speed of words to compete with their partner in a conflict. Men's emotional processing capacity is often much slower than their partner. Whilst being silent is a sign of a man's need to process it is also a way to avoid the feelings of defeat.

How do men emotionally detach? ›

Here are some things you can try.
  1. Identify the reason. Ask yourself why you're now deciding to detach from the relationship. ...
  2. Release your emotions. ...
  3. Don't react, respond. ...
  4. Start small. ...
  5. Keep a journal. ...
  6. Meditate. ...
  7. Be patient with yourself. ...
  8. Look forward.

How do you let go of someone who doesn't want you? ›

5 Life Saving Ways of Letting Go of Someone Who Doesn't Love You So You Can Be Happy
  1. #1 – Ask yourself how determined you are to do this. ...
  2. #2 – Make three lists and refer to them often. ...
  3. #3 – Cut him off. ...
  4. #4 – Believe that you will find another love. ...
  5. #5 – Get back out there!
May 6, 2019

How do you know when to let go of a relationship? ›

15 Signs It Is Time to Let Go of Your Relationship
  1. You are not being yourself. ...
  2. You are not genuinely happy. ...
  3. You want different things. ...
  4. You are constantly criticized and barely appreciated. ...
  5. The passion and the good times are gone. ...
  6. You feel lonely most of the time. ...
  7. You are trying too hard and compromise a lot.
Apr 12, 2021

How do you not get attached to someone? ›

How To Not Get Attached To Someone In An Almost Relationship
  1. First Rule: Don't lie to yourself. ...
  2. Second Rule: Manage your expectations. ...
  3. Third Rule: Rule out certain “relationship” activities. ...
  4. Final Rule: Keep your self-respect.
Mar 21, 2018

How do emotionally unavailable people show love? ›

An emotionally unavailable man in love cares about your feelings. He doesn't want to hurt you. He'll try really hard not to be a person who causes you pain. If he does cause you pain, if his issues manage to hurt you as they often do, he will be overcome with guilt and shame for being the person who caused you grief.

What is an emotionally immature person? ›

The American Psychological Association defines emotional maturity as “a high and appropriate level of emotional control and expression.” Emotional immaturity, on the other hand, is “a tendency to express emotions without restraint or disproportionately to the situation.”.

When a man is in love with you? ›

When he's falling in love, everything is likely to become about her. He can't stop thinking about her and would rather be spending time with her than doing anything else. He may feel scared about the relationship and where it's headed, or he might just have a comfortable feeling about the entire thing.

When a woman is emotionally detached? ›

One of the common traits of an emotionally distant woman is avoiding all sorts of conversations. When you try, she might appear irritated or might ghost you. She will often make excuses to avoid getting together, connecting, or catching up. Another common trait is, you find her secretive.

What causes a man to be emotionally unavailable? ›

Anxiety is about fear, and fear is one of the root causes of an emotionally unavailability: fear of intimacy, fear of being overwhelmed, fear of being hurt, fear of being judged, irrational fear of death and/or fear of being exposed as less than who they portray themselves to be.

Does emotional detachment go away? ›

It can be ongoing, as it is in people with attachment disorders, or it can be a temporary response to an extreme situation. Find encouragement and support through 1-1 messaging and advice from others dealing with major depressive disorder.


1. Narcissists and Victim Signalling: How Dark Personalities Weaponise Victimhood
(Darren F Magee)
2. How To Show Your Ex You Don't Care
(Brad Browning)
3. NEW hallmark movie 2023 - New Hallmark Movies 2023 - Best Hallmark Movies 2023
(ইসলামিক গল্প ও কাহিনী)
4. Michael Jackson - They Don’t Care About Us (Brazil Version) (Official Video)
(Michael Jackson)
5. Audio Bullys - We Don't Care (Official Video)
6. Why A Stoic Doesn't Care What People Think
(Daily Stoic)


Top Articles
Latest Posts
Article information

Author: Pres. Lawanda Wiegand

Last Updated: 09/01/2023

Views: 5606

Rating: 4 / 5 (71 voted)

Reviews: 86% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Pres. Lawanda Wiegand

Birthday: 1993-01-10

Address: Suite 391 6963 Ullrich Shore, Bellefort, WI 01350-7893

Phone: +6806610432415

Job: Dynamic Manufacturing Assistant

Hobby: amateur radio, Taekwondo, Wood carving, Parkour, Skateboarding, Running, Rafting

Introduction: My name is Pres. Lawanda Wiegand, I am a inquisitive, helpful, glamorous, cheerful, open, clever, innocent person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.