17 things to do when you miss someone (2023)

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Human beings are by nature a social being. Most people aim for a certain measureprivacy, camaraderie, and lasting connection with others.

On the other hand, however, is the connectionSoledad. When you can't see or talk to someone you care about, the pain of their absence and the lasting memories of your time together can take root in your heart.

Sometimes you can solve the problem of missing someone by picking up the phone or coming to visit. But reconnecting isn't always possible, and the resulting feelings of loss and grief can build to the point where they begin to overshadow all aspects of your daily life.

rumiandoTalking about loneliness usually doesn't do much to ease your heartbreak, but these 17 tips can help you deal with it more effectively, whether you're missing an ex or grieving the loss of a close family member.

General advice for all situations

If you care about someone and enjoy spending time with them, it's natural to regret their absence when they're gone. Even a temporary separation is not always easy to bear.

you take care

Taking care of emotional wounds is just as important as treating physical ones. You may not need stitches or an ice pack, but a little self-compassion can go a long way toward healing your pain.

You have suffered a loss and may need time to adjust before you feel like yourself again. Treat yourself kindly by doing goodpersonal hygienecan help you get through this adjustment period more easily.

Self-care for emotional distress can include:

• save enough time toI'm a repairmaneach night
• opt for caremood boostergroceries
• do some exercise - longandare great for processing complex emotions
• Reach out to loved ones for emotional support.

Take the time to sit down with your feelings.

Ignoring the pain of missing someone might seem like a good way to get rid of them, butavoidanceusually has the opposite effect. Emotions are stubborn, and the fear you thought you buried can resurface at times when you don't feel ready to face it.

There's nothing wrong with missing someone and being sad about the loss. It's also common to want to run away from these feelings. Who wants to feel pain?

yet2010 investigationsuggests that facing negative emotions can help alleviate the stress they can cause. Avoiding them, on the other hand, can contribute to worsening mental health symptoms, includingDepression.

Of course, you probably don't want your heartbreak to take over your day.

Instead, find a quiet time when you canExamine your feelings:

• accept whateveremotions– Love, regret, anger – arise without judgment.
• explore your emotionsto better understand where they come from.
• cheer up withpositive self talk. "It's hard, but it gets better" might sound more positive than "You're gone. Leave it behind.

interact with others

"Missing" describes a unique loneliness that a person feels, so it's normal to feel that no one else can fill the empty space in your heart.

However, other friends and family can offer compassion, empathy, and more.emotional support. they can onlyTo hearÖturnSuggest activities that take your mind off the loneliness.

Spending time with other people also reminds you to value other connections and social relationships.

Even starting a conversation with the people you meet on a daily basis, whether it's a delivery person or other people stuck in the same long line, can help.financially supportfeelings of belonging and happiness.

Participating in social activities and community groups can also help alleviate loneliness and make new connections.

While spending time with other people won't completely ease your craving, company can still help lift your spirits if you let it.

Immerse yourself in something you like.

Hobbies and other fun activities can provide positive distractions that help you deal with the pain of missing someone until it starts to fade.

It might be more helpful to focus on your own interests for now than on past hobbies together. If the pain of your absence is recent, you may find it difficult to do things alone that you used to do together.

Do you need a new hobby? To try:

• DIY projects like painting an accent wall or restoring an old piece of furniture
• Art or craft projects, such as collage, painting, photography, or scrapbooking
• creative writing
• Bird watching, hiking or other outdoor activities

when they are far away

Even if you know you'll eventually see the person you miss, it can still feel pretty private. Time seems to be slowing down, making it difficult to focus your attention elsewhere as you count down the days.

Schedule a remote hangout

Staying in touch is key, whether you're on a continent, across a few states, or apartCOVID-19 protocols.

Chatting over text, phone, and video chat may not bring the same satisfying feelings as interacting in person, but interacting virtually can help you feel more connected while waiting for a breakup. Scheduling regular “meetings” gives you something to look forward to.

Why not try writing a letter between virtual dates to let them know they're on your mind?

Handwritten letters may seem old-fashioned, but they're a great way to share your feelings. Since you can't hit the back button, it becomes more important to focus on your thoughts as you type and choose words that really express your emotions.

Accept reminders and reminders

During regular periods of separation, when you are in aDistance relationshipFor example, if you keep some of your belongings at home, you might remind yourself that they will be back shortly.

Even if you logically know that the distance won't last forever, daily reminders can still help cement that fact in your mind and make your breakup more bittersweet than bitter.

Throw your sweater over the arm of the sofa, use your shampoo every now and then, put your favorite album on and leave some of your books on the coffee table. This way they will still feel present in your life even when they are temporarily away.

Get back in touch with yourself

Many people in romantic relationships andclose friendsThey end up doing too many things together, which sometimes leaves them with lesstime for you.

everyone needs somethingalone timeSometimes. While a temporary separation may leave you alone, it also offers some chances.self discovery.

Take this opportunity to pursue new interests or things you enjoy that your loved one doesn't, whether it's camping alone or a weekend of just watching arthouse movies.

When you can't talk to them right now

Missing someone you can't reach is often even more painful. Perhaps your work takes you to a place with no phone service, or you may be dealing with a serious illness. Or maybe the two of you have decided it's time for a break.

Whatever the reason, it becomes even more important to take the time to recognize andmanage your feelings, alone or with the support of another person.

If the inability to establish a physical connectionÖmakes you sick remotely, try:

• Meditationto ease the agony
• expressing emotionsdaily, drawing orMusic
• Track your thoughts to share later
• Focus on positive memories, like B. Jokes you've shared or trips you've taken together.

you might think toodo something nice, either for your loved one or someone else in your honor.

kindness to otherscan improve your moodand help you feel more connected with other people and with humanity in general. A kind act in anticipation of your loved one's return also sends the message that you care.

One final note: if you can't talk to someone because they've agreed to stop communicating for a while, make sure you respect them.Limitsto set up. Instead of giving in to the temptation to communicate, record your thoughts in journals or unsent letters.

When the relationship no longer exists

Sometimes missing someone can bring up other complicated emotions. Maybe you stop talking to them because they hurt you or betrayed you.Trust.

In addition to missing the happiness you once shared, you may also feel guilty or angry with yourself for caring for someone who caused you pain.

Love is complex, just like people, and it's not uncommon for your desire to persist, even though you know it's best to avoid contact.

You may know that you cannot have a relationship with a father whoabusedYou, a friend who didn't want to approachtoxic behavior, or a partner whomistaken– and still feel love for her at the same time.

Rather than denying your pain, it's important to discuss and work through these feelings. Stick to your decision to cut contact and keep a journal or talk to someone you trust.

When coping strategies don't bring much relief, seeking professional support can be a good next step. Ending a relationship can leave you feeling shaken, but a therapist can help you find ways to deal with the loss of someone who is no longer in your life.jTreat the pain from the original injury.

if they are ex

Relationships don't always work. Sometimes they end so disastrously that you know there isn't even a friendship. Despite this, you probably still miss your ex. You might even miss themadvancewhen you know they have completely disappeared from your life.

This is perfectly normal. Chances are you've spent a lot of time with them throughout your relationship and you've gotten used to their company. Regardless of the reasons for your separation, this loss can be difficult to accept.

Take your processing time

Missing an ex doesn't mean you should rush back into the relationship. Most likely, they broke up for very good reasons. Maybe you can work things out and reconnect at some point, but it's important that the two of youTaking time (separately) to heal.

If you didn't break up amicably after an amicable breakup, try to avoid contact. Write down everything you want to say and save it for later.

make new connections

Devoting your social time to the people and activities that you find fulfilling and enjoyable can take your mind off of missing your ex and reinforce the fact that you can absolutely heal and move on.

Also, remember that doing the same things you did with your ex, only alone, can increase your sense of loss. When you change up your routine by trying out new running trails, shopping at a different grocery store, or finding a new show to watch, you can shake off the feeling that you should be there too.

Here are nine more tips for dealing with a breakup.

when they died

Death, the ultimate loss, is often the hardest to bear. After a breakup or estrangement, you can accept the possibility of future reconciliation, but the finality of death can leave you feeling that you will always miss your loved one.

A certain amount ofdorit can be persistent, but time usually helps ease the pain. In the meantime, try to focus on the joy they've added to your life:

• Spend time in places you enjoyed, like B. a favorite park.
• Order takeout at your favorite restaurant.
• Plant a tree or flower as a reminder.
• Write them a letter reminding them of your shared experiences.
• Look at old photos or videos to feel closer to them.

sadness can behard to deal alone. When the longing for your loved one becomes so overwhelming that it begins to interfere with your daily life and relationships, a therapist can offer compassionate support and guidance in coping with the loss and grief.Dealing with Grief Productively.

the end result

It's okay to miss the people you care about when you can't see them. This particular torment is simply a result of the capacity to love.

Enjoy time together, even the quietest ones, when not much is going on. When you're apart, you'll feel more comfortable knowing you made the most of your time together, and you'll have fond memories to cherish until you see them again.

Crystal Raypole previously worked as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy. Her areas of interest include Asian languages ​​and literature, Japanese translation, cooking, science, sex positivity, and mental health. In particular, she works to reduce the stigma associated with mental health issues.